The Diary of a Wife (Ep 3): Finding God’s Will When Choosing a Life Partner

I will be going a bit back in time to when I met my husband... let's say... urhm... 19 or 20 years ago, if I am correct. If you missed my last episode, you can read it here.

We were both students. While I was in my final-year degree programme, he was rounding up his master's degree. I had always known him around school, and I admired him because he loved the Lord. 

He didn't need to carry a big Bible around school to announce that he was a child of God. He simply exuded it through his words and actions. He was no "spiri-ko-ko," as we used to call it in those days. His character was simple and Christlike.

We were acquaintances initially, but with time, we became friends, and our friendship quickly blossomed into love. The more I got to know him, the more I fell in love with him.

So one night, he proposed. I looked at him and simply asked, "Why me? Why would you choose me out of all the girls in school and in your fellowship?"

He gave me an acceptable response, and I said a big YES!

Now let me tell you this:

1. I didn't make this decision lightly. From the get-go, I walked with the Holy Spirit.

2. I had a heart posture that said, "Lord, I want what You want, not what I want. You know the best man for me. I want the man You have specially prepared for me so that together we can fulfil God's purpose on earth."

I didn't have a list of physical qualities I wanted my man to possess. I didn’t have a "spec". I trusted God to give me the best, and He did - absolutely!

3. When I was baptised with the Holy Spirit in my first year, the Holy Spirit prompted me to pray for my future husband almost every night. I would stand on the balcony and pray for him as though I already knew who he was. I prayed ahead long before even met him.

4. A few days before my husband proposed to me, I was lying on my bed in the hostel when I felt the Holy Spirit ask me, "If he proposes to you, will you agree?"

I stood up from my bed and gave an unfaltering YES. I had no iota of doubt that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him.

So when my husband proposed to me as we stood together in the coolness of the night, I was ready with my answer even before he asked. I wasn't going to say, "Give me some time to pray about it." I knew.

Do not lead people on if you have no interest in having a permanent relationship with them, especially when you can see that they are interested in you. Don't make them waste their time, attention, and energy on you when you know in your heart that you don't see a future with them. That's wicked.

If all you want is the attention, validation, or monetary benefits, then you are simply using him or her. Don't do it.

Let's learn to walk with the Holy Spirit as we make this all-important decision.

Lesson for Wives

A godly marriage begins long before the wedding day. One of the greatest gifts a woman can give herself is to cultivate a close walk with God before choosing a life partner. When we surrender our desires to God and trust Him with our future, He guides us in ways we could never guide ourselves.

Don't allow loneliness, pressure, age, or emotions to make decisions that should be directed by God. Learn to seek His will above your own and trust Him enough to lead you.

Lesson for Husbands

Character is one of the greatest gifts a man can bring into a relationship. Long before my husband became my husband, his words, actions, and devotion to God spoke louder than anything else. Godly character attracts trust, respect, and confidence.

Men, strive to be the same person in private that you are in public. Let your walk with Christ be evident not merely through religious activities but through humility, integrity, kindness, and consistency.

Key Scripture:

Proverbs 3:5–6 (NKJV)

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths."

Question of the Day

Did you seek God's direction when choosing your spouse, or if you are still single, what role does God play in your decision-making process regarding marriage?

I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.